To be honest, I feel like there were a lot of things I wanted to say on my last post, but I didn’t. For the last two weeks I have been stuck with not knowing exactly what I want to write because there’s so many things I still have to say.
I don’t know why but I feel like I have to justify myself. This is not the first time that I have been blogging and much less creating content. I have had YouTube channels before and have had experience being “out there”. Of course, I wasn’t famous and it never lasted for a long time but what I want to say is, that I am not new at this, and I just needed a fresh start.
We needed a fresh start. Olivia also had a YouTube channel before, and we just wanted to start over.
Here is a story.
Two summers ago I started my 3rd YouTube channel. I finally had a good quality camera, a formal tripod, and had a little more knowledge about editing. I also had been observing big and small youtubers to steal their tactics and grow my channel.
So I started making videos, and my first video got 100 views in less than a week –which is very cool because I had ZERO subscribers-. I started doing videos everyone else was doing, joining Facebook groups for youtubers, telling some of my friends about my channel, started chatting with other newbies, and doing very good.
Everything was going great, until I stopped.
To be honest, I don’t even really know why I stopped because I had a lot of videos planed –I even started a mini “back to school series” and had a very cool intro-. I think I even filmed some videos for the back to school series but never got around to editing them, much less uploading them.
I really did have potential. I look back on the videos I made and they were good; I have a good camera and I know how to edit videos well. I had a good amount of subscribers, good amount of views, and I had interaction with the viewers. What else could a newbie ask for?
When school started I didn’t give YouTube time. Watching the videos I made give me an impression that I was being fake. I feel like I was always to overly exited, which in real life I also have those moments, but they are not always. I kind of annoyed myself…
This was the summer between middle school and high school. When I entered high school, my whole life turned around. I was finally happy, had a lot of good friends, and felt like I was totally me. And I didn’t feel like I needed YouTube anymore.
I was doing a lot of things; photography classes, drawing and fashion classes, I was in my dance school and in my high schools dance team, I was part of school clubs and activities, had things to do with my friends almost everyday, I was meeting new people, and getting used to the life of a high school student.
I didn’t need distractions anymore, I didn’t really even had time for that.
So, to sum it up, I wasn’t all that happy in middle school. I had lots of friends but never belonged anywhere. I used YouTube to meet new people and try to belong. I got to high school and felt like I finally belong somewhere. But as time passed I realized that it was all a big. fat. lie.
I have never belonged and never will. I am different and don’t fit in with regular people.I am slowly finding my way through life. And that is actually something I also want to talk about. When that is ready I will link it here, but for the mean time go read my last post where I talk about blogging and how hard it is to stand out. It goes hand in hand with this post and the next one.
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