Scared of not accomplishing my dreams

Typing words when I’m happy don’t really come out as easily than when I’m sad. My thoughts go to fast to type them out so  I decided that I would record myself talking and then listen to that recording and type what I said. So here is goes. 

It’s 1:15 am and I’m exhausted. It’s not like I’ve been running around, going from this place to that place, being in traffic, etc. All I’ve been doing is socializing. I recently joined a lot of Facebook groups with bloggers just like me. I probably joined 10 different groups and in each group there are about 1,000 to 2,000 or maybe even more people, well not just people, bloggers.

And this just blew my mind. I just thought there are so many people who have been doing this for a longer time than I have, and there are so many people writing about the same things that I want to write about. I’m sorry if I offend you but I don’t want to be just another blogger, but then again, I don’t think anyone wants to.

I want to be a person that uses this platform to be heard and do good and change the world. But I couldn’t help thinking, how am I going to succeed in this world if there are so many people trying to do the same. How am I going to stand out and how am I going to be different? Why would someone read this blog instead of someone else’s? What makes me better?

Probably every other blogger out there that wants to make a change has had those same questions.

The other day I saw a video that Jonah Green made (not the novelist from Paper Towns, that’s John Green). In this video he admits that he hasn’t been creating content that he wants to make. He has been making videos that the audience wants to see, videos that will make him money.

He says, and I quote “When I moved to Los Angeles a year and a half ago, I was broke and I needed to make money. And so I committed to change my YouTube channel, from a thing that was a playpen, to a job. And immediately the focus of the videos shifted, from having fun to how can I get the most views? And how can I make the most money? So I can survive, so I can eat and pay my rent.” 

YouTube started as something almost therapeutic and has become a source of stress in his life.

 

I am just starting this blog and I am scared that this will someday happen to me.

Since I was little, I’ve had this dream of making it big and make a change. I wanted to be an actress and have a lot of money to help others. At this age I still want something fairly similar. I want to make an organization to help kids, provide them with education, a loving family, allow them to really truly learn and grow, and teach them all about equality, helping the world, and saving animals.

Teaching, politics, law, and psychology have all been things I’ve thought to mayor in because they all involve helping.

I still don’t know exactly what I want to do because there are so many things that I love to do and so many things that I want to solve. I still do want to create an organization and help kids, help the animals, and help the world.

I know I can’t do this by myself. I want you to help me save the world.

So tell me, what is it that you want to do?

love-robby


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